I was bolloxed out of my brain one evening, I mean I was really really trashed. It was a miracle I even managed to work out how to get out oof my chair I was that fucked up. I was wrecked.
Anyway it was a long time age, twenty years or more I wanted a drink or something, so went to the kitchen to alleviate the matter. To get a suitable vessel I had to rummage around in the sink and it was full of stuff, as sinks can often be. Whereupon I found a whopping great spider, it must have been a good six centimetre across from leg to leg and it was threatening brown colour. A typical house spider, that had been daft enough to fall into the sink and not find a way out. Bloody Arachnid!
Now we all know how delicate many of these creatures can be and how clumsy and strong human fingers can be.
Bearing this in mind I tried scooping it into a cup, no good. It was not having a bar of that, nor did it want to be picked up in some kitchen roll, or for that matter any other non human contact method of extraction, from its prison. All of this while I was wanting to make tea and perform other duties to cater for my guest(s) And all while I was completleley twattered on whatever it was I had been indulging in. This creature was not moving, unless, and I got this very loud and serious message, unlessit was picked up properly or allowed to escape under its own steam. The amount of fuss the little (big) bastard was making, dancing here, running there and generally being objectionable . Like someone with ADHD actually, or is that unfair?
Anyway, in the end I was left with little choice but to put my arm out and let it climb out that way, bearing in mind I had bare arms and just a T shirt on my top half, this was perhaps not for the faint hearted and or Arachnophobes. I got this distinct impression of somebody climbing to the podium at Nuremberg, yes that guy, the one with the moustache. This creature lookd at me the whole time, it told me: ” I am a living creature, A sentient being, I demand respect, or at least recognition. I AM A SPIDER.”
And from then on in I have not been afraid of spiders. Oddly enough I had another one in the same location yesterday, that one got flicked into a mug and chucked out in the herborium amongst the the Yellow Thyme
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