if I answered this question theIS IS NOT A SECRETn my ‘secret’ would hardly be a secret anymore would it. Whatever is secret in our lives should remain so, sometimes it is a matter between the holder and their creator or the relevant third party. Whhatever the deed or knowledge is or was should remain just that. it is a biut like not discussing your sex life or talking about your personal wealth, they are things better left to those more intimately connected with what is going on in those repected areas. Nobody wants to hear about the blowjob your fairer half gave you last night nor the tremendous boost to your income you enjoyed a weeek ago. People can get very jealous you see and hate to know that someone is doing better than them. Some get so jealous as to want to undermine your good luck and fuck you up, as if that will help their own position. people can be very stupid and that is why it is best to keep your own counsel, do not revela your plans until they have come to fruition and if you do, let them be known only to those you trust anbd trust well.
What else? Do you want to hear about my sex life and tremendous new relationship? I bet you do and you can keep waiting… I have been a little busy these last few weeks, by that I mean there has simply been a load of other stuff on my hands and and or I have simply not found the time, inclination or willingness to write. it is easy to say I will write XY and Z amount each week, but actually doing it is another matter. being motivated by nothing apart from the want of writing is all good and fine, but a man has to eat and he needs an income and the prospect of getting ones finger out every morning is just sometimes too much to bear. Perhaps I really ought to throw the towel in and go find a proper job. If |I do then what, some new career, teaching maybe? Civil engineering, to be honest I have absolutely no idea the sort of employment I am now suited for, My CV says everything and nothing and I can barely tell whoppers,m cause as soon as I do, then bang! The whole lot will come unravelled. I think teaching may just see me slapping a few of the little sods, but who knows. I am barely qualified for that role, I loathe the politics of the modern eduvacational system, do not co-opt with wokery or being PC and I sure as hell won’t dance to the tune of the Alphabet people. In short I am wholly ill suited to that sort of environemnt, plus the money is crap and the workload does not reflect anything on the value of the work you are doing, one would be better off washing plates.
I have no plans to wash plates in any professional capacity. Or listen to the useless advice of relatives, who speak out of their backsides when it comes to advice on employment. Maybe and just maybe if I plug along with the art and writing I may just get somewhere. It is hgardly a secret I am an artist, mor is it a secret I am a writer. I just need the ocassional gentle push in the right direction. When everything goes flat I have the garden. It is not so hard really, it is only the ego that says it’s so.
The musings of a professionally confused artist 
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