Television and 98% of what is mfound on televison these days. everything from reality TV to inane commentary and previews before sporting events and then there is celebrities. The pointless and brain dead worship of people who just happen to be famous, for some non worthy deed. I am going to change the subject now, as it makes me feel slightly unwell. If that is the sase, then why did I choose the subject? Well and to be honest, I actually closed my eyes and let my gut decide for me. I could just as easily have described my favourite pair of shoes. (my sandals) But it is what bores me, that wins today. I have a television, but it does not receive a signal. I Barely use it, it sits there staring at me, its magic eye, unable to spy on me. Have you read 1984? if not do so, but it is not the reason why I don’t use it. It is barely ever plugged in and only then to watch a DVD. Of whhich I need to replace my current selection, or get some new. Watching the same crap time and again, is mind sapping idiocy, we know what is going to happen. It is a bit like watching the race when knowing the results.
Elsewhere, things are not so boring and are moving along quite nicely. There is still work to be done, but thats ok. It is more a matter of regaining the impetus, to do it. I have to remember not to pressurise myself. It is counter productive, creates inertia and that is totally destructive. It is not even restful. iIt is exhausting and leads to cycles of vicious depression. It is now more important than ever to keep an even keel. Keeping away from toxic ignorant people is another. I find it very hard to associate or even like people who support murderous genocidal Middle Eastern pariah states. (Not Iran) I would rather and have dissacociated myself from their company. They are kind of uninspiring and actually rather boring in my eyes. I can safely say I never liked them from day one, but am I supposed to?
last week I went to Cambridge for the first time and went to Evensong for the first time at St.Johns college. It was beautiful and we had a lovely time together. Spring is on her way and the snowdrops are poking their noses through the earth. It is still cold here, but the days are lengthening by the day. Go outside and listen to the bird song, they have a message for each and every one of us. You don’t even have to understand the words, just the vibration.
I hope this is the end of a cycle and I can get back on track with things. These last few weeks have not perhaps been the easiest, but sould have been a lot worse. Intrusive thoughts can really mess you day up and running of spoons is no fun either. But as mentioned previuously, one should be grateful for small mercies and think of the jjoys that life has brought rather than the negatives. it is easier and healthier that way and brings light even on the darkest days. If it is cold outside, put the heating on. If something is out of your reach, let it go and pray for it to get better. If you don;t know who or what to pray to, then have a cup of tea instead and say Thank God for that.
The musings of a professionally confused artist 
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