what are my bigest challenges?

That is a question that deserves a multi facetted answer. This means the answer could turn into several pages worth, but I will spare you. It is not my intention to write so muchand anyway there is a dog waiting to be walked. Organsiation is always a good one. I am not organised, or not enough to be truly effiecient at my game. Things are scattered around the place i do not where in the story I am and or what is coming next. None of the above is true and everything is in divine and perfect order, or so soeone once told me. Being more tolerant of other peoples views? Well I am but will not cut out my own tongue to keep other people happy and I do not like people who support bullys, or the self righteous and people who play the constant victim card. Is it necessary to point the finger here? They habve been doing it for long enough and the world is beginning to wake up and smell the coffee. I do not need to mention any names. Self confidence used to be a big one, as did opening my big mouth and saying something terrible or entirely inappropriate. I have no filter, I have ADHD, I have excuses and none.

No longer does alcohol play a role, that challenge is null and void and gone. Nor even is Cannabis though I do confess to having a big fat spliff on Christmas Day. Did it do any good? No, not really, it made me feel uneasy, a little unsteady and not at all myself. That was the first one in several months, I may make it the last. Self criticism, I am my own worst critic and am notoriously difficult to please. nor do I really like having praise heaped on me from other people. It makes me feel uncomfortable, I get embarrassed. Managing money: Well if I had more of it then it would not be an issue, staying within my budget does have challenges, not getting excited when I have an excess provides one or tow as well. I like posessions, they are affirmative I know what it is like to have fuck all. Liberating is one word, piss poor, broke and skint are others.

Each challenge is a test of resolve. A way of overcoming a hurdle aand a method of growth, both spiritually, but materially and physically as well. You do not build muscle mass by sitting down and watching the box. You do not make new friends by sitting in your garden talking to the trees. If you like it or not, you have to get out and do that thing. Make yourself, be yourself and go forwards with life. It’s not always that easy, there again it does not need to be hard either. Find the middle road, life does not give you a map and compass, but you can find one quite easily if you need one. For everything else you could try praying, it won’t do any harm and there again may not do any good.

Happy New Year.