on letting go

Daily writing prompt

Describe an item you were incredibly attached to as a youth. What became of it?

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Like many people I was attached to more than a few things in my formative years: a bicycle (it meant freedom) A machete ( I used to cut myself with it) and several other things all turned to dust, rust and ruin. The bike, a white Raleigh Race Special got a cracked front fork and became a bit of a liability. I think it got sold at some auction for spares, that was in my home town down Hampshire way. The machete which came home with me from kenya, wound up getting deposited in the bushes at home in the same county and got lost as it were for a long time. Quite why I dropped it in the bushes is anyone’s guess, but the scabbard had gone rotten, ahrdly surprising as it was animal hide and the blade was knackered beyond redemption. One wound up in the bin the other came to Oxford and was used to cleave branches from trees and hedge, an impromptu garden tool as it were. It later wound up in a bin, it was becoming a liability. I was never so much attached to the various Teddy Bears and such that accumulate in childhood and which I still have. Sure they went to boarding school with me for a couple of years then stopped, they probably did not like the place which is understandable. Anyway the bicycle and the machete, in fact I can hardly describe the machete as being from my youth, I would have been in my early twenties when I got that and I felt older then than I do now.

On a less material aspect, I did let go of ignorance and embraced learning in its place and that is an ongoing process. I also ditched religion, consigning all that stuff from First Communions and other catechisms to their rightful place. I think the main reason I stuck at being an altar boy for so long, however long that was, was due to the free alcohol at the local church. Speaking of which I gave up alcohol, had a relapse and started again. Whether that is to be considered in my youth is another matter I am now middle aged but I feel youthful, age as they say is just a number, like the beads on a string. The more they are handled the shinier and more worn they become and not necessarily in a bad way either. I have never given up my eternal suspicions regarding politicians and their wiles, nor do I hold clergymen in high regard, but that is not answering the question, is it?

A late addition would be my very large and comprehensive record (lP) collection. I had a glorious and much envied vinyl collection an now it is gone. It went like this I found myself leaving an abusive and even dangerous relationship and the need to get out and find a more stable place to go was imperative. The new place was small, so small in fact as to be able to nly fit a man and not much else. this was twenty years ago so again I was barely in my youth, but was it youth? But for how YOU feel. I could probably have put everything into storage but I perhaps panicked and off loaded everything to the charity store. It took a long time coming to terms with letting go of everything and having released my end of the rope I guess I had almost forgotten until reading of another experience, this time of a sketching book. ( I am also an artist) The time it took to let go and the time in fact to heal from this separation was probably longer than any piece of rope. Surrendering and shedding ones load can be quite painful, but like letting go of a heavy burden after a long walk over hard terrain in foul weather to be welcomed by a warm and comfortable pick up makes it all the more pleasant. Selling my CD collection by comparison was pretty easy, I wanted to do that.